Monday, March 28, 2005

Interesting list!

Ok, I'm a sucker for lists like these--especially when they force you to probe deeper into your own psyche instead of asking stupid shit. I got it off of my baby's blog so now I'm putting in my own answers.


10 YEARS AGO I
1. Was finishing up my double major (Ethnic Studies & Chemistry).
2. Got into UCSB's PhD program in sociology.
3. Was starting up my final quarter at UC Riverside (27 units!).
4. Was convinced I wouldn't be able to find a life partner.
5. Didn't have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life.

5 YEARS AGO I
1. Was accepted into UCSF's PhD program in sociology.
2. Was teaching at SFSU's Asian American Studies department.
3. Amazed that I had been with my partner for 3 years.
4. Was starting to get into playing DDR and Bemani.
5. Didn't have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life.

2 YEARS AGO I
1. Moved in with my partner and a crazy-ass bitch of a sister-in-law into a new house.
2. Finished my first marathon in Honolulu.
3. Was dealing with the sudden and unexpected passing of my mom.
4. Was trying to understand all the drama that was going on with my family b/c of my mom's passing.
5. Began to have a clue about what I wanted to do with my life.

1 YEAR AGO I
1. got married to a man.
2. got really famous for getting married to a man.
3. stood by my husband as he began to recognize his polyamory (even though I knew it way before he did).
4. was trying to understand why my sister hasn't spoken to me.
5. didn't really care about what I wanted to do with my life.


YESTERDAY i
1. prayed I wouldn't get blown off 280 to play video games while my husband fell asleep.
2. played DDR, Guitar Freaks and Drum Mania for the first time in a few weeks.
3. wondered about where my life was going and realized that things'll be ok no matter what.
4. shared french fries and clam strips with my husband and the other guy he's in love with.
5. was amazed that I'm over my jealousy of my husband's other guy.

TODAY i
1. only worked 8 hours (surprise!).
2. wondered whether keeping my director's job was worth the stress.
3. wondered whether doing my dissertation was worth the stress.
4. lifted weights for an hour and swam 2200 yards in an hour (light day).
5. wondered if i should start running again.

TOMORROW I WILL
1. make a committment to myself to either finish my PhD or be ready to move on with my life.
2. try to enjoy the day, no matter what happens.
3. relax since I'm giving myself a relatively easy day tomorrow.
4. do hip-hop class (haven't done that in months!).
5. remember that I define myself, not the situations that happen to me.

5 ITEMS i HAVE (BRAND) LOYALTY TO (parentheses added)
1. family (whoever I define that to be)
2. friends (ditto)
3. my husband
4. my self-care time
5. myself

5 SNACKS i ENJOY
1. spam musubi
2. french fries
3. shrimp chips
4. really good chocolate (scharffen berger at least!)
5. cookies (preferably if I make them myself)

5 THINGS i CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT (in no particular order)
1. love
2. challenges
3. respect
4. loyalty
5. satisfaction

I WOULD BUY WITH $1,000
1. motorcycle lessons
2. take care of my bills
3. a new tattoo
4. a trip to Hawaii
5. 1000 lottery tickets :)

5 BAD HABITS i HAVE
1. I don't give myself enough credit.
2. procrastination.
3. self-defeating statements
4. lack of trust (in myself and others)
5. i don't advocate for myself enough.

3 THINGS i WOULD NEVER WEAR
1. thongs (wore it once in drag, never again!)
2. turtlenecks (my neck is too short)
3. ruffly prom shirts a la 70s

5 SHOWS i LIKE
1. Hey! Spring of Trivia
2. MXC
3. Good Eats
4. Any old-school cartoons (Bugs Bunny, Tom & Jerry, Woody Woodpecker, etc.)
5. Iron Chef (Japanese thank you, not the lame-ass American version)

4 PLACES i'VE LIVED
1. Santa Clara, CA
2. Riverside, CA
3. Santa Barbara, CA
4. Daly City, CA

3 NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Efren
2. Efi
3. Slut (only by my closest and dearest friends)

3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. I work hard.
2. I play hard.
3. I know when to push and when to pull back.

3 THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. I don't stand up for myself enough.
2. My weight (I'm more comfortable with it now, but I still don't like it).
3. I don't trust myself enough.

3 PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Filipino
2. American
3. Bay Area native

3 THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. dying alone and unloved
2. falling from heights
3. people doing crazy-ass shit with no regard for themselves or others

3 OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. love
2. hugs and kisses from my husband
3. good food

3 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. cut off gap sweat shorts
2. big-ass fleece sweatshirt from old navy
3. my glasses

3 OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS
1. Me'Shell Ndegeocello
2. Jill Scott
3. D'Angelo

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow Efren how did you deal with marrying a polyamorous husband

Efren said...

well, we've always been in an open relationship, so it wasn't a surprise. the funny thing about it is that after we got married, all these issues regarding traditional marriage came up, and we both worked on our issues. my husband realized that he had feelings for this guy that were on the same level as his feelings for me. i didn't have a problem with it, but he did, until he realized what was going on. now he's ok with it.

that's one of the reasons why i'm not particularly hung up on queers taking on marriage--i'm more focused on obtaining the rights that are accorded to straight couples, who do all sorts of freaky shit anyway.