Monday, October 31, 2005

Stupid ass thing overheard at lunch...

Guy rolls into the restauarant while I'm waiting for my lunch...

Orders, then turns on his laptop.

Guy next to him: "Is that Windows XP?"

--Yup.

"Is it Apple?"

--"...."

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Celebrities and coming out...

With all the painfully obvious celebrities coming out recently, Sheryl Swoopes, George Takei, and others, I think it's high time we make a list of people who are also very obviously queer who haven't come out...

and should stay closeted.

And, of course, some reason, I'm having a complete brain fart and can't think of anyone...

Except Richard Simmons, who apparently cried and carried on when he was asked about his sexuality.

Geez, make it more obvious, why dontcha?

Suggestions most welcome!

This stuff happens in San Francisco?

So I'm at an acquaintance's Halloween party with the husband and didn't know anyone there except some of our mutual friends who belong to his Dungeons & Dragons group...

After they left to go to another party, I didn't really know anyone there, so I could go into my sociologist mode and made a few observations.

1. The husband decided to go into S&M drag/Village People drag (the leather guy, and the husband decides to wear a chain mail top with leather cap and ripped up blue jeans), and gets hit on by both men and women.

A buxom blonde (female) nurse said to him, "What would happen if you tried to kiss me?"

The husband replies, "Well, my boyfriend wouldn't like it, for one thing..."

I just smiled.

I also pointed out that when he took off his chain mail top so that one of our friends' boyfriends could try it, immediately 10 guys stare at his back, mouths agape, then whip out their cameraphones to take pictures of his back tat. Never mind that none of them talk to him.

Gee, did I really look like the menacing boyfriend?!

2. There were about 6 guys wearing the same damn outfit--looking like Olivia Newton-John from her Physical video. It would've been ok if they all went together at the same time and coordinated it...

but they didn't.

So one of the white guys in the outfit tries to hit on both me and the husband saying, "Have we met before?"

And we both reply, "Uh, no..."

Then the white guy tries to have small talk with us, which was okay, until...

The white guy sees this other guy who's wearing the same ONJ outfit, who happens to be Asian, and asks him, "So do you know these guys?"

We both look at each other and say, "Uh, no."

The guy in the green says, "Why? Should we?"

I say, "Yeah, why? I've never met him before." (He is kinda cute...)

There is a pregnant pause....

And then he says, "Is it because...we're ASIAN?!"

We both start laughing while the white guy slowly slinks off, humiliated. He doesn't talk to any of us the rest of the night.

Geez, if this weren't SF, it may be a bit excusable--but in SF, come on!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Captain Jack gone?

Captain Jack, really only known in the US for being part of Konami's famous Dance Dance Revolution and other Bemani video games, died last week in Berlin from complications of a stroke and resulting coma.

The only people who would really know (or care) who he was in the US were fellow DDR players (like myself) who would play his songs--he was one of the first to have the dreaded 9-footer songs (Captain Jack--which I almost beat once, and then never tried again).

Here's the link to the story and here's a link about him in German (he was more well known in Europe and Asia anyway).

I'll probably play a couple games of DDR in his memory later on this weekend.

Geez, what else can you do?

So I was reading through my more professional e-mail accounts and got an e-mail from a woman thinking that she was sending something out to her girlfriend/friend/lover/whatever, presumably from a work address.

Ack. At least it wasn't erotic.

So I sent her a gentle e-mail reminding her to confirm such e-mails and to be careful about sending e-mails through a work address, like so:

Hi there--

Not to sound rude, but you have the wrong e-mail
address.

Please ask your friend to confirm the right e-mail
address and hopefully you won't be sending personal
e-mails to a total stranger.

You might also want to send personal e-mails out from
a more personal address like through yahoo.com or
gmail.com since e-mails sent through your job e-mail
are your firm's property and could be used as evidence
that you're not spending your time wisely at work.

Have a good day.

About frickin' time!

George Takei comes out in the Advocate...

uh, duh?

Here's the link.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

This whole "coming out" thing...

So I just noticed that Saving Face just came out on video, and watching the trailer already made me think of the similarities I have with the movie's main character, and also my whole coming out process.

In essence, I'm pretty much out as queer to everybody--except for family members who are pretty clueless and don't want to talk about it. And that's the sad, scary, weird and funny part--keeping up appearances while maintaining some semblance of the truth hanging over us. Even when my mom passed on a couple years ago and I demanded that my husband be one of the pallbearers, no one raised an eyebrow and they just let it happen, even though most people had no idea who the heck he was--and even now, it gets annoying that a lot of my relatives don't recognize who he is--or acknowledge him, wondering when the hell I'm going to get married.

Geez, isn't having my marriage broadcast all over the Philippine News, KTSF and the International Channel enough?

And also considering what my dad's done since my mom's passed, well, let's just say that similar predicaments have happened like in the movie, and I think we're both fumbling around to try to get to know each other better, but the barriers between us have been hard to overcome, and I'm trying to get over them, but not sure how.

I'm not sure why this is so hard for me to do--I mean, jeez, my dad's seen me with Howard since '97 and I'm still afraid of coming out to him? Sheesh...

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Aside from feeling needy...

Not much is really going on here, just stopped my most favorite ice cream shop in the whole wide world, Mitchell's (on San Jose Ave. and 29th Street in the Outer Mission in SF) and tried to eat a Caramel Dazzler, a sundae with two scoops of Dulce de Leche ice cream, hot fudge, hot caramel, caramel cup candies (like Reese's, only filled with caramel), whipped cream and a cherry. I could only eat half of it because I had to drive a friend visiting from Honolulu to the airport and by the time I could finally get back to eating the damn thing, it had already melted. Ick.

They also have a new flavor called Lacuma, named from a native Peruvian fruit whose flesh is pumpkin-colored but tastes like maple syrup. I tried a little bit and it was actually really tasty.

I'm also really liking my new job (working 3 jobs and doing part-time pre-pharm is so much fun!) at St. Mary's since it's so chill but busy enough to keep me occupied my whole shift. It also helps that I'm making 25% more there than I am at any of my other jobs. :p

Other than that, not much--just leave comments or say hi--I feel like I'm posting into the ever-enlarging black hole of bandwidth...

hey! does anyone read this thing?

leave a comment please!

(yes, I am feeling rather needy at the moment :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

(straight) weddings...

So I'm going to a wedding for one of my cousins, who after 10+ years (!) of dating the same guy, is finally marrying him tomorrow.

While I'm looking forward to it because we are relatively close, I get annoyed because most of my extended family's still in major denial of me being gay despite having my marriage broadcast to most of Asia and the US through TV, newspapers, etc. For the most part, I've resigned myself to the fact that they won't get it, but sometimes I really wish that they actually just would so they can stop tiptoeing around the issue. I don't have a problem talking about my sexuality (obviously), but it comes to a point where I really don't care to anymore, especially since my family is extremely homophobic, and talking to them about issues of this sort is like talking to a brick wall.

My family hasn't exactly been the most open regarding queerness by any means--I remember meeting a distant relative almost 20+ years ago who was a trans woman and had a boyfriend at a time. I thought it was incredible and extremely brave, even with my own internalized homo- and transphobia as a kid, while everyone else just put her down in Ilokano (when she wasn't around of course), so my coming out as a queer was basically met with a huge question mark by the rest of the family who was pretty much blind to the whole thing. Here I was, being seen as one of the few relatively great hopes of the family, and yet I got my kicks by being with other guys. Never mind that my relationship with the husband has now been over 8 1/2 years long, but it's just something that the older generation doesn't talk about, and the younger generation is either overly interested, or simply doesn't care. I kinda prefer the "don't care" relatives myself.

So I usually just leave my relatives alone and don't care to see most of them unless I absolutely have to, and my life is actually a lot less complicated because of that.

Enough of the brain farts...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Cutting my (ever receding) hair...

So I went to go get my hair cut earlier this afternoon, and while I usually don't really care too much about my hair and have resigned myself to the fact that I probably will get the dreaded halo (and am prepared to keep my head shaved for the rest of my life once that happens) by the time I'm in my 40s, it's a shock to actually see more and more of my head everytime I go to the barber.

The funny thing is that I've never really cared too much about whether I'm going to become bald because for most of my childhood, my dad had the stereotypical comb-over which I thought was just ridiculous. Because he was so afraid of losing his hair, my dad had a hard time cutting my hair whenever I demanded that he cut my hair short--and when I did try to have him cut it short, it ended being cut really badly.

On a tangent, that was one of the ways that my dad and I hung out--he would cut my hair and we would talk about things, but as he got older, his hairstyles got worse and worse and I eventually ended up getting my hair cut at a barber. I think my dad was a little disappointed when I started doing that, though we do tend to bond now during different times (like when we have to drive to the never-ending gatherings and all the damn drama I went through earlier this year).

The nice thing about it now is that he shaves his head all the time now, and he has me to thank for it. I ended up shaving my head about 6 or 7 years ago, and when my dad saw me for the first time with my head shaved, he couldn't stop staring at it, as if I had done something odd. Considering the other haircuts I've had in the past that my dad hated (from the bleached hair that all Filipinos go through in high school--to the leave-the-top-long-till-it-grows-over-your-head-while-shaving-the-sides-and-the-back thing that all the Asian guys did in the early 90s), he seemed to actually approve. Mind you, this was still while he had his horrid combover.

The next time I saw him a couple weeks later, my mom pulled me aside and said, "Your dad copied you!" Sure enough, as soon as I saw my dad, he had shaved his head like mine. "Like father, like son!" my mom laughed.

At least, he finally got rid of that damn combover.

So now that I'm really coming to grips with the fact that I am following in his tracks genetically, I've decided to at least look like I have hair until the halo effect becomes too great, though I love having guys rub my head when it's either fully shaved or just has a whisper of growth around it. I think it's a turn-on for both the rub-er and the rub-ee. :)

The nice thing to know about this is that (from my biology class) pattern baldness is determined by testosterone levels as well as hereditary, so my hormones are still raging (relatively anyway). Plus, I know who I can blame that (and all my other hormonal tendencies) on.

Underwear?

Well, here's what it says about mine--I usually wear briefs or boxer briefs myself. I'm not a big fan of boxers since I don't like the "flopping around" sensation, and I like running around in my underwear (only with cute guys about :)




What Your Underwear Says About You



You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not!



You are childlike (or childish), and prone to run around in your underwear.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Yay! The Sisters rock!

I just got a phone call from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, who told me that I've won their scholarship! Woo hoo!

I hadn't heard from them since I had applied literally last year, so I thought it was a lost cause until I got the phone call tonight.

The funny thing is that the Sisters scared me at first when I saw them growing up since I had no idea what they were about, but after I came out and became comfortable, I finally know what they stand for, and the incredible work that they do for the queer community.

This is really going to help with fees for next semester--ack!

Recent goings-on!

Let's see, in no particular order:

o Went to a friend's wedding (here's the groom's blog and here's the bride's blog). One of the most Filipino and yet one of the most fabulously subversive weddings I've ever been to. They tweaked so many of the elements and have proven how a straight wedding can really be seen as a true partnership between a man and a woman instead of traditional weddings that make the wife too much like a piece of property. The piece de resistance was watching Michelle do kali in her wedding gown, which I thought was just fucking amazing. Makes me want to find the time to really learn kali!

o Husband's slowly recovering from his recent back injury, and I finally went to PT because I've had some chronic shoulder soreness (which ended up just being a really chronic strain of the acromioclavicular joint). I've had to drastically reduce my weights while working out while I focus on form, and I'm more sore because of that more than anything. Even after only two weeks of doing my PT exercises, the joint has already started to loosen up and I can actually move my arms fine without feeling the intense pain I did before.

o Because the husband hurt his back, we had to cancel our annual Hawai'i trip (which is fine, because I'm flat broke anyway). Considering I finally got that part-time transcription job I was hoping for at St. Mary's Hospital (after two weeks of sweating out to make sure all my references and the damn physical tests panned out), I'll finally have some money to pay all my late bills and hopefully save some for other things.

o Had my midterm in my biology class, and I'm almost positive I got at least an A-, if not a flat out A. I'm really excited, though next semester I plan on taking two classes, second semester bio and first semester of organic chemistry, then apply for UCSF Pharm over the summer of '06, while taking the final 3 classes (second semester o-chem, human phys and speech :P during the summer and fall '06). I've never been so excited to take science classes, and it's just weird how easily it's been coming to me, especially since taking bio and chem classes in college seemed so much harder!

o During my friends' wedding reception, I ran into some former colleagues of mine when I taught at SFSU's Asian American Studies department, and told them that I left the Ph.D. program at UCSF and planning on hoping to go back there for pharmacy. They were pretty supportive, which is always a great sign.

o I'm finally donating my old iMac (along with some other stuff, like an old printer, and an old DSL modem and wireless router) to a friend's nonprofit for tenants' rights here in SF. I had a love-hate relationship with the thing, even though I still have a soft spot for Macs, even though I really do love my tablet.

o In the process of cleaning up said iMac, I ran into some old pictures that I had locked away, and I can now appreciate how far I've come in working out and taking better care of myself while still maintaining all the parts of me that I've always liked the most (god-DAMN, I have a nice ass! :)

o I also ran into some old pics of my mom that I had also stored away. Made me think about the relationship I had with my mom, and the really intense emotions we always had for each other. At the same time, I see how expectations and locking up security solely in materials really, well, screwed my mom up in terms of her worldview on things. My mom had a lot of things, but she was so paranoid about losing them that she never really left the house all that much in the last few years of her life. Maybe because of that, I've never been very good in finances, though I'm really trying now to get better at it.

o I had a conversation with a good friend of mine who's now in a similar situation like mine in NYC and she made an interesting point. We had spent the first part of our lives trying to take care of other people while forgetting about our own needs. Now, we're both learning how to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about putting ourselves first. She had NO idea how true that was. In our own ways, we're trying to take care of ourselves and we're both realizing how freeing that is. It's weird to actually do all the things I'm doing now and not feel any twinges of guilt at all.

Current life in a nutshell. :)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

What cell phone should I get?

Well, I'm probably going to switch cell phone carriers soon since I've been on T-Mobile, and while it's not bad, it isn't necessarily all that great either. I've also had their Sidekick in its various guises for the past couple of years. The loving husband decided to switch over to Cingular, primarily since T-Mobile rides off of Cingular anyway for coverage here in San Francisco.

So I'm trying to decide between saving money now or waiting a couple months to switch over to Cingular and get either the Audiovox SMT5600 since it's a smart phone and one of my girlfriends, MusicChyck, loves hers, or just dish out the money to get the Treo 650 or 700 when it comes out later. Since I'm planning on going to either pharmacy or medical school, having the Treo makes more sense since it'd be easier to reference stuff.

Decisions, decisions...

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I'm such a fucking nerd...

So here I am on a Friday night at midnight...and what do I do?

Schoolwork--just finished a report that isn't due for at least a few weeks and feeling pretty proud of myself until I realized how really fucking pathetic that was.

Sheesh.