Friday, October 14, 2005

(straight) weddings...

So I'm going to a wedding for one of my cousins, who after 10+ years (!) of dating the same guy, is finally marrying him tomorrow.

While I'm looking forward to it because we are relatively close, I get annoyed because most of my extended family's still in major denial of me being gay despite having my marriage broadcast to most of Asia and the US through TV, newspapers, etc. For the most part, I've resigned myself to the fact that they won't get it, but sometimes I really wish that they actually just would so they can stop tiptoeing around the issue. I don't have a problem talking about my sexuality (obviously), but it comes to a point where I really don't care to anymore, especially since my family is extremely homophobic, and talking to them about issues of this sort is like talking to a brick wall.

My family hasn't exactly been the most open regarding queerness by any means--I remember meeting a distant relative almost 20+ years ago who was a trans woman and had a boyfriend at a time. I thought it was incredible and extremely brave, even with my own internalized homo- and transphobia as a kid, while everyone else just put her down in Ilokano (when she wasn't around of course), so my coming out as a queer was basically met with a huge question mark by the rest of the family who was pretty much blind to the whole thing. Here I was, being seen as one of the few relatively great hopes of the family, and yet I got my kicks by being with other guys. Never mind that my relationship with the husband has now been over 8 1/2 years long, but it's just something that the older generation doesn't talk about, and the younger generation is either overly interested, or simply doesn't care. I kinda prefer the "don't care" relatives myself.

So I usually just leave my relatives alone and don't care to see most of them unless I absolutely have to, and my life is actually a lot less complicated because of that.

Enough of the brain farts...

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