Thursday, October 20, 2005

This whole "coming out" thing...

So I just noticed that Saving Face just came out on video, and watching the trailer already made me think of the similarities I have with the movie's main character, and also my whole coming out process.

In essence, I'm pretty much out as queer to everybody--except for family members who are pretty clueless and don't want to talk about it. And that's the sad, scary, weird and funny part--keeping up appearances while maintaining some semblance of the truth hanging over us. Even when my mom passed on a couple years ago and I demanded that my husband be one of the pallbearers, no one raised an eyebrow and they just let it happen, even though most people had no idea who the heck he was--and even now, it gets annoying that a lot of my relatives don't recognize who he is--or acknowledge him, wondering when the hell I'm going to get married.

Geez, isn't having my marriage broadcast all over the Philippine News, KTSF and the International Channel enough?

And also considering what my dad's done since my mom's passed, well, let's just say that similar predicaments have happened like in the movie, and I think we're both fumbling around to try to get to know each other better, but the barriers between us have been hard to overcome, and I'm trying to get over them, but not sure how.

I'm not sure why this is so hard for me to do--I mean, jeez, my dad's seen me with Howard since '97 and I'm still afraid of coming out to him? Sheesh...

1 comment:

:: jozjozjoz :: said...

I have no comment on the whole "coming out to your family issue" but I will comment on the lack of updates. What's up with that?! All I know is I come everyday and play with Lindesfarne, but let's face it, I'm really here for the updates!