Saturday, December 31, 2005

I am so glad 2005 is almost over!

(Sorry I put this post up for the 31st and disabled comments--this is more of a personal post for me than anyone else, but feel free to email me if you have something to say.)

I've probably had a more tulmutuous year than most, and it felt like that I'm finally finishing up my Saturn's Return a year late, which kinda makes sense since all the crazy stuff that happened to me happened right before I turned 29 when my mom passed, and it felt like something kept on hitting me over the head to grow up and see what was going on in my life and change things that I thought were set in stone for me, so to speak. I literally got rid of all of these things that I thought was going to happen to me (executive director of a non-profit? done; 2nd attempt at a PhD? done; teaching at a university? done; etc.), and slowly phased out people in my life who were really more deadwood and toxic rather than supportive and loving, and have built up strong relationships with just a few people that are a lot more satisfying than the innumerable acquaintances that I tried to maintain before.

I've learned a lot the past few years. First and foremost, challenging whoever's running the universe will lead you with more challenges until you cry out, "Stop!" (that literally happened to me a couple months ago). Quality is always better than quantity, whether that be in love, friendships, workouts, etc. Nothing is ever set in stone, and that being fluid isn't necessarily a bad thing (thank the goddess I'm a Pisces and can handle that). I've learned to slow down, to be happy with what I've got and cultivate the talents I have instead of forcing things that weren't working. I've learned that speaking my mind isn't a bad thing; nor is having a reputation of having a mouth.

The funny part was that I had stopped therapy after doing it for 2 years right before my mom passed, as if it were a mental preparation for the challenges that were gonna happen. Training for my first marathon and therapy had inadvertently prepared me for the marathon of mental challenges that I went through the last couple years. My whole life was spent up to that point rushing from one point to another that I didn't really see what the point of rushing actually was. After having that epiphany a couple months ago, my life has become more stable, and given the craziness of the past few years, that is a truly welcome change.

Too bad there's an extra second added on to 2005 for those of us in the US, instead of 2006 for those in Asia.

Have a happy 2006, everybody. I know I will.

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