Saturday, April 22, 2006

The Fabulously Gay Survey (lots of sex questions!)

I copied these survey questions from my husband's blog about sex and being gay--and decided to answer them. Mainly because I'm bored, but it's an interesting survey nonetheless. Lots of explicit questions and answers, so if you want to pretend that I'm a prude and virginal, you can ignore this post. :)

1. How Old Were You When You Knew You Weren't Straight?
Hmm...I knew that I was different probably when I was about 6--but I didn't really articulate it as being gay until I started going through puberty and found myself having crushes on boys instead of girls. Of course, being raised in a legalistically devout Catholic and homophobic Filipino family where no one else was queer, I tried to suppress it as much as I could--until I got into college.

2. Have You Ever Had Sex With The Opposite Sex?
Nope. I'm probably one of the few fags out there who's never even had a girlfriend where I did anything sexual, much less kissing. I did have a white girl kiss me a couple of times, but I wasn't really into it--until I kissed my first guy. :)

3. Who Is The First Person You Came Out To?
First person I really came out to was my former best friend--who ended up being a prick and telling everyone else about it. I haven't spoken to him ever since I graduated from college.

The first person I came out to who was also gay was this Chinese guy who was trying to be a fundamentalist Christian--and in my naivete, I believed that I could be straight as well if I followed fundamentalist Christianity as well. After I was forced out of the closet in college, he didn't speak to me until years later when he apologized for his behavior, and admired me for being upfront about my sexuality when he couldn't. We still chat occasionally from time to time if we see each other online.

4. Are You Out To Your Parents?
Well, I've never officially told them that I'm gay--but my mom knew that Howard is a major part of my life--and she got along really well with him. I knew that she really liked him when she started giving him food and telling him to eat whenever we came to visit. My dad--well, I know he knows, but he doesn't talk about it.

5. Do You Want Children?
I go back and forth on this one. On the one hand, it'd be nice to have children, but then on the other hand, I see what parents have to go through raising their kids (Howard's sister is raising two kids on her own), and I'm not sure if I'd have what it takes to do it. Then again, Howard is a big kid himself, so sometimes that takes care of any maternal instincts I may have...LOL.

6. Do You Have More Gay Friends or Straight Friends?
I have mostly gay friends, but I do have some good straight friends as well. My gay friends seem to be more understanding of who I am and don't ask the sometimes irritating questions that straight people do. I do try to have friends from different perspectives, just to keep myself in check, whether that be in terms of sexual orientation, poiltical outlook, racially, etc.

7. Were You Out in School?
In high school--well, I had a boyfriend, but I wasn't technically out. I came out in college to friends until I got forced out in this one paper that published my name when I said not to--and then I ended up being editor-in-chief of that same paper that next year. The story in and of itself was pretty harrowing--from realizing that I was doing a horrible job of being a good Christian boy and being asexual to coming out of the closet and making up for lost time, and realizing who my true friends are. But that's probably another blog entry.

8. Is Your Best Friend The Same Sex As You
Hmmm--best friend, I have a number of different best friends, and some are male and some are female, so I guess that answers that question.

9. If Your Best Friend Is The Same Sex, have you ever had sex with them?
Well, my ex is one of my best friends, so yeah. :)

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
No--the only drugs that I've really done is pot a few times, and E once. I'm too much of a control freak personally to really enjoy being high so I stopped doing it.

11. Have You Ever Been In A Sling?
LOL--well, I've done someone in a sling--does that count?

12. Have You Ever Done A 3-way?
A few times, all with the husband. It was fun. :)

13. Have You Ever Dressed In Drag?
Yeah--Howard persuaded me to get in drag for Halloween a couple years ago--he loved the getup and makeup. I thought I looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show--but he liked it nonetheless.

13a. Would you date a Drag queen?
Yeah, I probably would. The husband did drag years ago and I've never had problems with drag queens.

14. Are You A Top/Bottom or truly Versatile?
I'm truly versatile--I love doing everything (and being done). :)

15. Have You Seen An Uncircumsized Penis?
Yeah--I've had sex mostly with Asians, and they're mostly uncut. I'm also uncut too--one of the few Filipinos I know who are.

16. Have You Had Sex With Someone of A Different Race?
Yeah--I had lots of issues before with having sex with guys of different races--but no longer. :)

17. Have You Ever Barebacked?
Yeah--when I was younger and was able to be with guys who were just about as virginal as I was--now I demand condoms.

18. How Many Cher CDs do you own?
None--I've never been too big of a fan of Cher. Guess I'm a bad homosexual, huh??

19. Name Of Your First True Love?
My first true love where it was returned? The husband. :) The other guys I've dated were either guys I weren't into--or they weren't into me.

20. Do You Still Talk To them?
Of course--we've been together for almost 9 years. :)

21. Does Size Matter?
God no. As a friend said--more than a mouthful's a waste. ;)

22. Biggest Turn On?
Confidence--a guy who's confident in himself (and that's different from being an asshole/cocky) is a guy I usually go home with, whether he's a muscle boy or a chub--a guy who knows he's sexy and wants you...that's the biggest turnon.

23. Biggest Turn Off?
Desperation and guys who are into self-pity.

24. Ever Been Harrassed Because You Are Gay?
A couple times--but nothing really too bad. I usually come out to people and for some reason they're shocked--and don't say anything homophobic to me after.

25. Worst Gay Sterotype That Applies To You?
LOL--I don't know. I can be pretty flaming but I can also be pretty butch--both are frankly more affected than how I really act, which is a combination of both.

26. Ever Been To A Pride Rally?
Yup--I didn't feel comfortable about participating until I started living with the husband and now it's more of a "been there, done that" thing for me. I'll go now, but only to see friends more than anything.

27. Would You Marry If You Could?
Only for the government benefits. Marriage is a good thing, but considering all the weird things that happen to be people emotionally as a result, I think people take it way too lightly, especially the straight folks.

28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich and smart. That's why I want to be a pharmacist. :) I actually think I look better now in my 30s than I ever did in my 20s. :)

29. Do You Sculpt Your Eyebrows?
Nope, never have.

30. Do You Trim Your Body?
Nope, I have almost no body hair to speak of. :)

31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
Oh god, yes. My poor roommate when I was in LA had to contend with all the guys who would come over to fuck. It was fun. :)

32. Ever been to an orgy?
Only a couple of times. Haven't done it in a while because it takes too much coordination--it's almost like a party since you have to figure out who to invite and how to get the chemistry right so things will get started. ;)

33. Have you dated your best friends ex?
No. All the people my best friends have dated aren't in the area, and when I was down in LA, all my best friends were female and I'm not into straight guys.

34. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?
Depends on her politics. I can't really say for sure since I don't know enough.

35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
Not sure. If it's forced, it's bound to cause a strain--but if it ends up being monogamous, I have no problems with that. It's almost like reverse psychology, if you're told not to do it, you want to do it even more.

36. Do you believe in true love?
Yeah. I've been with him for almost 9 years. :)

37. Do you have any tattoos?
Two, small one on my left shoulder and a fish on my right hip commemorating my mom.

38. Do you have any piercings?
Just my right nipple. Most of my body modifications are things that people can't see unless I'm either swimming--or having sex with them.

39. Would you date a smoker?
Nope--kissing a smoker tastes nasty. Every so often I smoke a cigarette and I'm immediately reminded of why I hate smoking and why I wouldn't do it, much less date someone who is.

40. Do you know anyone who has died from H.I.V.?
Yeah, quite a few actually--it's part of why I want to be a pharmacist and why I've done HIV work for years.

41. Do you know what Stonewall was?
Yup--had to teach about Stonewall when I lectured about queer history.

42. Wonder Woman, Xena or The Halliwell Sisters?
Probably Wonder Woman, though Xena is dykey enough that I'd probably prefer her instead. I used to twirl about like Wonder Woman when I was a kid--I should've realized I was gay back then!

44. Strangest place you have had sex?
Hmmm--with the ex--on a back alley somewhere near my ex's house when we were still dating, though the most public would probably be in the back of my truck in a park in WeHo when I was with the ex. Also, while driving along both the 5 and the 101..hehe!


45. Strangest place you've woken up?
Well, I've always gone home with guys sober, so I've never had anything weird happen (thank the Goddess) where I didn't know where I was when I woke up.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
Definitely in front of me--I'm only 32, I've got a LONG way to go!

47. Favorite porn movie?
Not sure--there are scenes which I love from different movies--but I don't have the patience to watch a porn movie all the way through.

48. Are you in love now?
Yup, still in love with my husband. :)

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
Nah. Straight guys are good for sex, but not for falling in love. Not into straight women--never have, never will. :)

50. Did you ever have sex with them?
Oh yeah--I've had sex with straight men but can't deal with the emotional trauma afterwards. My ex claims to be bi, and is now claiming to be straight, but still hasn't really dated anyone besides me since 1996!

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Yeah, in San Gregorio. It was fun. :)

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Yeah--both for sex and to do research as part of a study when I was a grad student at UCSF--I got sick of going to bath houses after working there.

53. Ever had sex in public?
LOL--yeah. West Hollywood, the 5, the 101, San Gregorio...;)

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