Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Whoa.

Not like the Keanu Reeves way of saying, "Whoa," but it's been a pretty strange week nonetheless.

o Monday night, after taking my hip hop dance class at UCSF, I was driving along 16th Street to pick up the husband at his bf's place and stopped at Church Street. The light turns green, I start going into the intersection when a fucking SUV from Nevada going against the light misses me by inches. I honk the horn, the SUV breaks hard and starts to drift, nearly flips over before stopping inches in front of the apartment building on 16th and Church. The other cars stop stunned. I'm too much in shock to really think about it until after I have dinner, grab a dessert and calm down until I realize, "Holy shit--I was nearly killed just now." I pick up the husband, and he thankfully offers to drive me home.

o Tuesday night I decided to go in for an HIV test, partly because I haven't been tested in a while and I just wanted some peace of mind--especially since I get so fucking paranoid when I think about how some little thing here or there that I do when I'm messing around puts me at risk. Most of the time I'm safe, and I can count the number of times I've done something that put me at high risk on the fingers of one hand. But each time I've done something...I freak out. I couldn't sleep the night before (partly because of the fucking near-accident), but I think that my glands are swollen because I'm having pain at the base of my neck (never mind that the lymph nodes are actually more around the top of the neck). It isn't until I take some ibuprofen and realize...it was a muscle strain.

You can probably guess how I got it. :P

Anyway, I take the HIV test, which is the new OraSure, which, contrary to its obvious sounding name, is taken from a finger stick. I've gotten fingersticks before and they've never hurt. For some reason though, when the phlebotomist sticks me, it hurts like a motherfucker. Even she says, "Wow, that sounded really blunt!" I was thinking, "Think how I feel!" The blood draws I've gotten have hurt less...sheesh.

So after my results come back (negative, thank God), I also decided to take some other tests for STDs. The oral test was done by the phlebotomist and straightforward enough. But I had to do the anal test by myself. Nonchalantly, the phlebotomist tells me where to go (the men's bathroom of course) and how to do it. Sure enough, there's a huge sign showing you how to administer your own rectal exam.

Lovely.

The husband actually commented that when he got his last STD test done, he had the lab tech do it. Maybe he was cute.

I'm glad I did it myself, thankyouverymuch.

And my finger still fucking hurts from that stick...sheesh.

At least it's better just to have that stick than the stress of not knowing whether I'm still negative or not.

o Hopefully, the rest of the week will be better--going to the California Academy of Sciences for hors d'oeuvres and watching fish have sex (oh baby--squirt into the water!); then going to Napa on Saturday so the husband can get some wine, then seeing friends on Sunday and zoning out on video games.

Oh yeah, also got some Japanese porn from a friend--the week's looking better already. :)

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