Sunday, June 24, 2007

I'm on SFGate!

Well, my ribbon is.

I marched with the Billy DeFrank Center from San Jose, and I ended up holding a 20 yard purple ribbon down the parade route as part of a huge rainbow flag.

Fucking hardest march I've ever done to date, especially since there were windtunnels and the bitch who was holding her end decided to do handstands without telling me, leaving me wondering why the fuck the ribbon was so hard to pull.

Anyway, here's the picture.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I'm here. Really.

And to think that I'd actually have some time to relax during my time off between classes.

Nope--just a lot of work and working out and nursing a bum right shoulder. Oh yeah, and doing my pharm school applications.

The bum right shoulder is bugging me so much that I've decided to hold off on doing the Rough Water swim in Honolulu until next year since I can barely swim more than an hour without my shoulder screaming at me.
Trying to do any sort of weight lifting over my head hurts like hell, so can't do that either. Fucking sucks. Thankfully my shoulders are at a size that I like so I don't have to worry too much about working them out anyway. I'm planning on doing PT to see if that'll help.

The applications for pharm school are going pretty well--I'm almost done with the national application and then have to worry about the supplementals. It also helps that I've been talking with people who are pharmacists and pharmacy students, and it's helping cement that this is what I really wanna do. I remember having nagging doubts that would escalate to loud screams when I was doing graduate school, and with pharm school, none of that's happening. Kinda weird not to have that, but very cool anyway.

SF Pride's coming up, but I'm just marching in the parade on Sunday this year with the husband with the Billy DeFrank Center, where I would hang out when I was first coming out in the early 90s. We also gave a talk there after we got married in '04. We also scored tickets for a VIP party at City Hall that day too, so that should be interesting.

Both of these have helped me realize how much my identity's evolved and reacted to my sexual identity--from having my queerness trump everything (and the personal drama that happened which contributed to my barely passing a lot of my classes in college), to just having it be an integrated part of who I am that's simply that--just part of who I am (and the lack of drama in that respect helped me do fabulously in all those classes I'm taking now and has helped me maintain a focus that I haven't really had in a long time).

I also got some minicards from moo.com, which makes me realize that I need to keep taking pictures and updating my Flickr photoblog.

So I'm here--just not as much as I used to be. But I'm enjoying having somewhat of a life--at least until the end of July. :)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

How fast does a tuna fish go down a bobsled track? (No, really.)

How many tissues are needed to stop a bullet?

How do I measure my life?

So the national application for pharmacy school opened up on the 1st, and in the midst of getting that done along with waiting for supplementals from other schools, I came across a question that was asked by UOP to account for each year of my life since my senior year in high school in terms of school and work experience. As I started filling out that application (and needed an extra page), it came as a shock that it's been 16-17 years since my senior year in high school, and it got me thinking. How would I measure my life? What are the things that are important to me?

Would it be my coming out process? The three romantic relationships I've had and the countless one night stands? My awards? My jobs? My friends? My family? My slowly receding hairline? My decreasing blood pressure?

It's such a weird thing, trying to distill these experiences onto a few sheets of paper into a package that's appropriate and suitable, and being forced to leave out things that personally are important vs. things that are important in terms of my application, but not personally.

I'm not sure how I would chronicle my life--especially since there are so many signifiers out there especially online that I can look at, like my posts on Usenet groups, pictures on my Flickr, my friends on MySpace, Friendster, etc.

It's a shock to realize how easy it is to sneak a look at my past online and see what I was thinking, and how I've changed from being the green, newbie idealist to the
cautious skeptic. I didn't think that I'd be growing up, and yet, here I am, covering my mouth in horror when the words, "When I was your age" start spilling out to my friends 10-15 years younger than me...

I'd like to think that my life so far has been pretty mundane, but then again, many of the things I've done have been mostly pretty banal to a few earth-shattering, literally history-making moments (like getting married to the husband) that it really does make me wonder what else is going to happen--all the incredible, crazy, scary things that will happen.

Life is such a crazy thing sometimes.