Friday, January 25, 2008

Only for my foodie peeps and my Filipino friends in San Francisco ...

Stopped by Mitchell's Ice Cream in the Outer Mission tonight and saw that they had "kalamansi" sorbet, which they only have in the winter.

I've been loath to have it since most of the time it's usually really artificially flavored and I end up not being able to eat 1/2 a scoop before throwing it away. Of course, being the pig that I am, I order it anyway.

It's pretty damn good now. It doesn't have that artificial flavor to it, and you can really taste the calamansi instead of all the weird sugar syrup and preservatives.

If you're in the Bay, go there and get some. I'm buying myself a pint of it tomorrow.

And of course, I'm gonna try to make my own, since my calamansi limoncello was so good from a couple years ago, and I'm going to make dulce de leche ice cream as well. I have friends who have a double ice cream maker so I can make both. :)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

What have the past 5 years meant to me?

I guess that's one of the things that I've been thinking about the past few days.

It's probably coming into very sharp focus because of my interview for UCSF Pharm school that's coming up. Like I mentioned before, it's a really eerie coincidence that it's happening 5 years to the exact time that my mom passed away. Try as I might, I can't seem to shake the weirdness of it all.

After going through my childhood where my life always teetered on religion vs. superstition, I've maintained my fence sitting by being agnostic. This hasn't certainly been helped by a lot of strange events that can't be explained by science, particularly around the time that my mom passed away (read past postings on my blog on this). It's easy to explain it away by sheer coincidence, and on the whole grand scheme of things, this opinion is right.

So why is it so hard to shake the coincidence of this interview with this anniversary?

In any event, it's made me think of what's happened the past 5 years to me since my mom passed away, which has been a lot. I remember hearing someone mention that one doesn't truly grow up until a parent dies, and when she did die, I suddenly felt like I was set free from my mom's expectations.

It also forced me to confront my past, and made me realize that if I was to ever truly move on with my future, I would have to make peace with the past. For too long, I had kept the past hidden, locked away from my psyche, though it always came up in my dealings with people, my inability to make decisions, my fear of hurting people without regard to my own feelings. I had painted my childhood as being pretty unhappy and miserable, and reconnecting with people who were with me during that time made me realize that it wasn't all bad: it was just what I chose to remember. In order to build the myth that I was strong and happy, I had to reinforce my own belief that I had survived a horrible childhood. And it was bad at times: histories of abuse etched in my mind and my body, for example. But it was also very good and memorable as well: finding kinship and solace with friends and family, especially when I was hurting; having a boyfriend in high school and the giddiness of first love; and seeing that the future is always filled with possibility.

Seventeen years later after graduating from high school, and five years after dealing with my mom's sudden death, and confronting the beginning of my body's transitioning into the mid-30s (with the beginning of my balding head *sigh*), I'm suddenly brought to this simple truth again: the future is always filled with possibility. The past can influence my decisions, but it's up to me to decide whether the lessons I learned in the past are for better or for worse. I've realized that the past 5 years have taught me, more than anything, that I can't just hide the past away. It's helped shape me into the man I am now, but that I always have choices in life, even when I think they don't exist.

Maybe that's why I'm so excited about applying and hopefully getting into pharmacy school: it represents the beginning of what I've always wanted to do. I just needed to convince myself that I was capable of doing it. Too bad it took so damn long. :)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Quick update...

o Finally got my interview date for Hawaii-Hilo Pharm: 2/21. So looking forward to it.

o The husband came down this weekend and had a great time with him. I miss him already. *sigh*

o Made a FABULOUS pastel de cuatro leches cake. Click here to see the pics. Click here for the recipe. I made it in less than two hours, and the only thing I didn't make was the caramelized meringue recipe. otherwise, it was great.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Grrr...

I just found out I have to withdraw my application for UOP today. It turns out that they don't accept the New College courses I've been taking, and I'm not going to waste another 5 months to take courses that I've already gotten A+'s just to fulfill some damn requirement from a school that I'm not that excited to go to.

Oh...was I being bitter?

(Note: For those of you who just started reading my blog, no, I don't talk about pharmacy school all the time--it's just really the only thing in my life that's causing me major drama. But hey, I'm going to Hawaii in a month and a half to interview AND to take a well-deserved week-long vacation...and may be start checking out places to live?)

Well, I could talk about some random person overseas trying to call me COLLECT on my damn cell phone, but that's nowhere near as important to me right now.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Two interviews, one wait list, and two more to go...

So I got an e-mail saying that I got an interview from Hawai'i-Hilo pharm. My scream of shock was so loud that people were wondering whether I had passed out or suffered a seizure.

So that makes two interviews (UCSF being the other one), one on the waitlist (Creighton), waiting to hear from UOP, and finishing up the supplemental from Touro.

At least I got an interview from my preferred backup--I don't think living in Hawai'i for four years won't be a bad thing in case I don't get into UCSF. :)

Friday, January 04, 2008

"You want me to pay HOW much?!"

So I was looking at the tuition rates for all the pharmacy schools that I'm applying to (and thanking all and sundry spiritual beings out there that my dad's offering to help pay), and was floored by the costs.

UCSF: $21,000 a year, but since I'm a career employee with benefits, I'll only have to pay 1/3 of that.

Creighton: $28,000 a year.

Hawaii - Hilo: $31,000 a year for non-residents, then $16,000 a year once I obtain residency status.

University of the Pacific: $56,000 my first two years, then $36,000 my last year (It's a three year program)

Touro University - California, in Vallejo: $55,000 a year, for 4 years.

Guess I have to really prepare for UCSF...*sigh*