Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Playing jokes on a closeted friend....

So I was hanging out with a friend tonight for dinner who I've been helping to adjust to life in SF, finding a place, becoming familiar to all the different SF neighborhoods, etc. He's still fairly closeted and a lot of his friends don't know that he's queer (I guess if one doesn't think that someone is, it doesn't even enter one's consciousness)--nor do they know that he and I messed around.

So said friend invited me to dinner with a friend who didn't know me or his orientation. It surprised me how clueless this friend was since he mentioned my friend's ex numerous times, and it never even occurred to the friend that he and the ex were lovers, while I tried to keep the look of shock on my face to a minimum since it seemed really obvious to me, even though he did shoot me glances to keep my mouth shut.

The last straw came when the conversation turned to talking about cars. His friend said, "Hey, why don't you have a girlfriend? That car you have is such a chick magnet!" C stammered and said, "Well, I guess no one's really said anything." Friend: "Well, maybe you should have Efren go with you to help you find a chick." I immediately looked at C, who knows that I find his car a total turnon and I gave him a look of total amusement, while he looked at me, begging me to not say anything.

Realizing that I would have to keep this charade up, but also that I had had enough, I decided to have some fun with this.

The conversation soon turned to swimming, and I started talking about techniques and drills that I do to keep my workouts from being too boring.

Me: "So one of the things that I like doing is swimming a whole length of the pool underwater while holding my breath."
C's Friend: How long does that take you?
"Oh about 30 seconds each time. I've built up a lot of stamina."

I look at C, who's about ready to spit out his tea, and gives me this withering glare.

"What? It helps me move faster in the water, and I'm able to go a lot longer without going up for air, and I'm able to keep going longer too!"
C: "Yeah, I've noticed." (continues glare)
"Yeah, what did you think I was talking about?"
C: "Um, er...nothing." (goes back to eating, furiously)

After C's friend leaves, and we get back into my car, C gets into my car, looks at me and says, "I am SO getting you for this."

Needless to say, it was a fun night. :)