Friday, January 23, 2009

We're #4, bitches!

So the collective blog that I write for, 8Asians, has been nominated for the 2009 Bloggies, one of the most well known blogging awards around. Our fearless leader/Bloggie Hall of Famer, Ernie, has done a fabulous job of keeping all 8+ of us in line as we blog about general Asian American craziness.

Unfortunately, there's no way in hell we're gonna win since 3 of the blogs are from Gawker Media, Gawker, Wonkette and Jezebel and these blogs literally have hundreds of times more traffic than we do, so we're just aiming to be #4.

And if you go to the Bloggies site, you'll also get to see 75% of my face, flanked between Ernie and Joz!

So please vote--and make us #4, because #5 will make us really sad.

Monday, January 19, 2009

How did Snow White really wake up?

It's not what you think...

Wow, it's been a while...

So I haven't posted anything on my blog in a while, especially since I've been posting other stuff elsewhere, like my twitter and 8Asians, so I haven't had much incentive to write here lately.

Well, actually I have, I just haven't felt comfortable sharing--and most of the people who want to know about me..already do. I've gone through some pretty profound changes and realizations the past few months, and I'm still trying to make sense of it all before I'm ready to regurgitate it on here. Also, these things focus on people who may or may not be comfortable with me talking about it, so out of courtesy, I'm keeping it quiet.

For the most part, things have remained relatively static, which is a good thing in terms of my jobs; and other things are in motion. I reapplied for pharmacy school and got interviews again for UCSF and Hawaii-Hilo, and this time around I'm going to Vegas to interview in Hawaii in February, with UCSF's interview being the week prior. The odds seem really stacked in my favor this time around, as Hawaii invited me to interview without submitting a supplemental for 2009. UCSF invited me for an interview even though they cut the number of invites by a quarter, so I have a 50% chance of getting in at this point.

I'm enjoying being back in SF, and on the one hand, I've been loving the fact I'm here--the ironic thing is that I'm focusing on things I need to get done personally, so I'm actually seeing people somewhat less than I used to, or want to. I've noticed that I'm a lot less aggro than I used to be--I guess walking to work every day tends to lower my stress levels.

I guess I'm also finding myself in the all-too-familiar state of being in flux since I won't know where I'll be for the next 4 years until the end of March. I really do find myself really wanting to stay in SF since I have very little incentive to uproot my life and go to Hawaii, but at the same time, it is appealing for obvious reasons.

It almost seems like that in order for me to move on with my life, I've been making peace with all sorts of different parts of my life that were not taken care of for a while. Most of it's led to a good conclusion and re-integrating people in my life; a lot of it, though, has been heartbreaking since I've had to let people and relationships go, or that in order for me to save my sanity, I have to say that I've worked hard enough, and can't do anymore. It's really hard to do so, even though I know that I can't change things in any way, and I am a better person because of it--I just wish that the people that I want in my life could be there...and for one reason or another, they can't. For the most part, it's fine. I am finding new friends and reconnecting with old ones who can be though and that's been a great experience. Angst is something that looks all right on someone in their 20s--with me nearing 35, it's just become tedious.

A friend of mine casually mentioned that this probably is a birthing process of sorts--and in some ways, it makes sense. I just wish it wasn't so painful.