So it's been a very long time since I wrote in this blog, and in about 4 weeks I'll be done with pharmacy school. One of the biggest things I wanted to do in my life, almost done.
And yet, I'm petrified.
I've never been so scared in my life. I have options right now after school, and I'm trying to listen to the calm within my heart to make a decision. I don't know why I'm afraid that I'll make a wrong decision. There is no such thing as a wrong decision.
I think my biggest unfounded fear is if I leave SF, I won't come back. I know that's not true in my head. At the same time, I don't have strong reasons for staying, except for being comfortable with my strong support network of friends. I'd have to start over in a new place, and I'm not sure why it's so terrifying for me to do so. People do it all the time. I do want to come back if I leave.
If there are people that still read this blog, please think calming, good thoughts for me. I know that the universe/God/whatever celestial beings are out there will provide and I am taking comfort in that. I just wish I could calm my mind down and stop worrying. It helps that I'm doing other things to take my mind off of it, but I am still scared and worried and petrified about everything.